Yes, all of the people in the stories actually exist, obviously real names won’t be used, so.. here’s the run down:
Nothing of Consequence: That would be me, star of this show/trainwreck. I’m early 30’s, and led a sheltered life before I got into my marriage. It wasn’t until after I got married that I actually saw what happened. This leads to many of the situations I have found myself in. That and I think a strong case could be made that I’m mildly retarded.
The Wingman AKA Bob: A high school friend of mine and editor of the site. He is aptly named since he is my Wingman and flak barrier for a number of these stories. Bob (technically Silent Bob) is a name he picked up quite a while ago, he’s kind of a quiet guy, which works perfectly since I’m… not. He does it because he gets the best seat in the house for my various disasters, not to mention he knows how to keep his mouth shut.
The Soon to be Ex-Wife: The woman I’ve been married to for almost ten years, who hasn’t fucked me in over a year, and hasn’t had a meaningful conversation in about 3…and you wonder why we’re getting divorced.
The Girlfriend: A very sweet and caring young woman from my office who is 5 years younger than I am. She is the essence of 12 o’clock hot. She is also significantly attached, which only adds to the comedy, but at least for the most part she sees it.
The Ex Mouth I used to Cum In: An attractive slightly older woman from my old job who used to flirt with me. I called her bluff and turned it into several solid mouth pumpings. Had to call it off when she told me she loved me, if there was ever a sign that a woman was mental, it’s that she thought I had a redeeming quality. If she thinks she loves me, she’s coocoo for coco puffs…
SuperHero: A big titted older hottie that I connected with off the bat because, well, I’m me and fucking charming, and you’re not. She’s pretty fucking crazy.
Dinosaur: Her fattie roommate who fucking adores me. Oh and she’s nuttier than a snickers bar, of which, she’s had thousands.
The Boy: My elder son. A good kid. Quiet. Introspective. Emotional. Will not shut the fuck up about Pokemon. He’s the quiet me.
The Prodge: My youngest and still a toddler. The epitome of the out going, wild side of me. The little fucker pisses me off because not only is he better looking than me (he’s fucking adorable, it’s sickening) but the kid can work the chickens. He has not met a fuzzie flounder who hasn’t melted in his hands. I hate him sometimes…
Ducky: A very attractive young woman who I became very friendly with (in a non-biblical sense) in the last few months of my last job. I think she’s a very sweet girl who’s motives are still up in the air. She still may want to bone me, but then again, who doesn’t?
The Admin: I love this kid. He’s ten years younger than me, good looking, built like a brick wall, dumber than said wall, and as insecure as that brick wall if they built it and forgot the mortar. He has a lot to learn and I’m the man to teach the bitch.
